#LGBTQFamilies, children, Facebook Group, family, GLBT, Jen Anderson Shattuck, LGBT, LGBTQ, love, Mama Bears, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, parent, parents, Serendipitydodah for Moms, Stories That Change The World, Story, transgender
Stories have the power to change the world … they inspire us, teach us, connect us. This is the twenty-ninth installment in the “Stories That Change The World” series.
I have a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ+ kids. We have more than 1,300 moms in the group and continue to grow. The group, Serendipitydodah for Moms, is set up so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted there.
Our motto is “We are better together” because we do believe it takes a village and our nick name is “Mama Bears” because we love our kids fiercely. We focus on developing and maintain healthy, authentic, loving relationships with our kids and we are passionate about making the world a kinder, safer, more loving place for all LGBTQ people to live.
When we read what Jen Anderson Shattuck wrote and posted on her personal Facebook page we immediately knew she was a “Mama Bear” and one of us.We are thankful Jen made her Facebook post public and gave permission for it to be shared. Moms like Jen and moms like the “Mama Bears” in Serendipitydodah are changing the world one story at a time.
So, Jen, if you are reading this please get in touch (firstname.lastname@example.org). We would love to have you join our private Facebook group.
Here is Jen’s Facebook post:
My three-and-a-half-year-old son likes to play trucks. He likes to do jigsaw puzzles. He likes to eat plums. And he likes to wear sparkly tutus. If asked, he will say the tutus make him feel beautiful and brave. If asked, he will say there are no rules about what boys can wear or what girls can wear.My son has worn tutus to church. He has worn tutus to the grocery store. He has worn tutus on the train and in the sandbox. It has been, in our part of the world, a non-issue. We have been asked some well-intentioned questions; we’ve answered them; it has been fine. It WAS fine, until yesterday.
Yesterday, on our walk to the park, my son and I were accosted by someone who demanded to know why my son was wearing a skirt. We didn’t know him, but he appeared to have been watching us for some time.
“I’m just curious,” the man said. “Why do you keep doing this to your son?”
He wasn’t curious. He didn’t want answers. He wanted to make sure we both knew that what my son was doing—what I was ALLOWING him to do—was wrong.
“She shouldn’t keep doing this to you,” he said. He spoke directly to my son. “You’re a boy. She’s a bad mommy. It’s child abuse.”
He took pictures of us, although I asked him not to; he threatened me. “Now everyone will know,” he said. “You’ll see.”
I called the police. They came, they took their report, they complimented the skirt. Still, my son does not feel safe today. He wants to know: “Is the man coming back? The bad man? Is he going to shout more unkind things about my skirt? Is he going to take more pictures?”
I can’t say for sure. But I can say this: I will not be intimidated. I will not be made to feel vulnerable or afraid. I will not let angry strangers tell my son what he can or cannot wear.
The world may not love my son for who he is, but I do. I was put on this earth to make sure he knows it.
I will shout my love from street corners.
I will defend, shouting, his right to walk down the street in peace, wearing whatever items of clothing he wants to wear.
I will show him, in whatever way I can, that I value the person he is, trust in his vision for himself, and support his choices—no matter what anybody else says, no matter who tries to stop him or how often.
Our family has a motto. The motto is this:
We are loving.
We are kind.
We are determined and persistent.
We are beautiful and brave.
We know who we are. Angry strangers will not change who we are. The world will not change who we are—we will change the world.
EDITED TO ADD: This post is public and able to be shared. We are so grateful for your love and support!
Serendipitydodah for Moms is a private Facebook group created as an extension of the Serendipitydodah blog. The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. The group was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 1,200 members. The space was specifically created for open minded Christian moms who have LGBTQ kids and want to develop and maintain healthy, loving, authentic relationships with their LGBTQ kids. In addition to providing a space for members to share info and support one another, a special guest is added each month for a few days. The guests include authors, pastors, LGBTQ people, bloggers and public speakers.
For more info email email@example.com