Every year at this time my heart breaks for so many of my lgbtq friends as they have to agonize over the kind of reception they will or will not receive from family. Will they be invited? Will their husband or wife be welcome? Will they be expected to act straight? Will they be gossiped about before, during and/or after the get together? Should they go? Should they decline? If they don’t go should they explain why? If they go should they act straight? If they go should they pretend that their boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife is nothing more than a good friend?
It’s easy to tell them to not have anything to do with people who don’t completely accept and affirm who they are but it’s so hard to be alienated from one’s family and this time of year accentuates the pain and sorrow. I’ve noticed over the years that most people will go to great lengths to stay connected to family, even when it is hard or painful, and most kids will especially go to great lengths to stay connected to their parents.
So, when I feel my heart breaking over these things my next thought is not to tell them to stay away from the hurt and do their own thing, even though that may be good advice. No, my next thought is …
Come on, people!! Let’s demonstrate the spirit of love this season! Let’s hand out some radical, extravagant love and grace to the lgbtq people in our lives. Let’s make our homes a haven of love and acceptance this season. Let’s call them up and encourage them to bring their significant other … and call their significant other by their name and use the correct label (boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband). And when they arrive let’s hug them and tell them how happy we are they are with us and how much we love them just the way they are. If they are a couple let’s introduce them as the couple they are. Let’s ask them about their life and what has been going on. If they got engaged let’s congratulate them. If they are planning a wedding let’s find out all about it and let them know how happy we are for them and the life they are building together. If they got married let’s encourage them to tell us about all the wonderful details of their wedding. If they are new parents or hoping to be soon let’s join with them in their joy and excitement.
Let’s show them we are safe and loving people and that our homes are a place where they can relax and be themselves.
Let’s make sure when all the festivities are over and they are leaving our homes that they go away feeling happier and more loved than when they arrived.
#BeLove #BeKind #LoveIsTheMovement
Check out this related post: How LGBTQ Families Can Turn Holiday Jitters Into Holiday Joy
I have a private Facebook group for moms of lgbtq kids. The group was created especially for open minded Christian moms who have lgbtq kids and want to learn to love and support their lgbtq kids in a way that helps them grow into the best version of who they were created to be. The group has more than 2,300 moms and is a place where a lot of support and information is shared each day. Our motto is “We Are Better Together” and we call ourselves “Mama Bears” because our love is both cuddly and fierce. If you are mom to an lgbtq kid and would like to join the community you can email firstname.lastname@example.org
You can also click here to find out more info about the group.