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affirming, healthcare, LGBT, LGBTQ, Mama Bears, Moms of LGBTQ Kids
Serendipitydodah – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of lgbtq+ kids. This series addresses common questions that often get asked by members of the group. For more information about the group visit our website: realmamabears.org
Identifying affirming healthcare providers for our LGBTQ+ children is extremely important, but many parents don’t know where to start. Moms of LGBTQ+ kids often ask for help when it comes to finding LGBTQ+ affirming healthcare providers for their children.
Historically, LGBTQ+ people have been marginalized, othered, and pathologized by medical and mental health communities. From conversion therapy and electroconvulsive therapy to denial of funding and care, the LGBTQ+ community has faced massive discrimination in healthcare spaces as a result of their identities.
Sadly, even today, homophobia and transphobia are still an issue in medicine. Oftentimes, doctor offices ask painful questions and make offensive statements based on a lack of diversity training and the assumption that those receiving care are heterosexual and cisgender. Not only can that be emotionally traumatizing, but it also often means that LGBTQ+ people are not receiving proper medical care.
Searching online or reaching out to healthcare providers is a good first step to find inclusive care. For example, parents can simply call a pediatrician’s office or an internal medicine office and ask if there are any providers who are well-versed in the care of LGBTQ+ youth.
Parents who participate in support groups like Serendipitydodah may also be able to identify potential providers through referrals and recommendations.
But even when a healthcare provider is recommended,
parent’s should do their own research!
To help determine if a healthcare provider is a potential good fit, it’s important to have a conversation before your child visits with them.
Don’t simply look for healthcare providers who are “LGBTQIA-friendly” – it’s not enough for a provider to love their gay cousin or have lesbian neighbors that they socialize with. Providers need to also be knowledgeable of the specific health risks and concerns that affect the LGBTQ+ community.
When searching for an LGBTQ+ affirming healthcare provider look for the following:
*A website that uses inclusive language.
*Someone who has experience working with LGBTQ+ youth, including transgender and gender diverse youth.
*Someone who will support your child on their authentic path to knowing their sexual orientation and gender identity, as defined by your child?
*Someone who is available and willing to help the family navigate this journey along with the child to strengthen their support system?
*Someone who accepts your insurance plan and is able to help navigate the preauthorization process for treatment?
The following are questions you should consider asking in order to help you find culturally competent, judgement-free, and quality healthcare for your LGBTQ+ children:
*Do you have experience working with LGBTQ+ youth?
*Do you have experience working with young gender expansive or transgender patients?
*Do you have any LGBTQ+ youth patients?
*Have your staff members gone through any sort of diversity and inclusion training?
*Does your facility have gender-neutral bathrooms?
*Do any LGBTQ+ people work in your practice?
*What role do you think providers should play in a child’s exploration of gender identity and sexual orientation?
*Do you think children are too young to determine their gender identity?
*When do you think LGBTQ+ people begin to realize they aren’t heterosexual or cisgender?
*I am struggling to understand this myself—how do you meet parents where they are to help them support their child?
REMEMBER … Just because you find a doctor who is LGBTQ+ affirming doesn’t mean you have to stick with that provider. If your child doesn’t feel comfortable you should always feel empowered to find someone else. Always listen to your gut and remember that even if a doctor doesn’t have experience with LGBTQ+ patients that might be OK as long as they are LGBTQ+ affirming and willing to learn. You’ll get the best care for your child if they are happy with their doctor because they’ll feel more open about being honest and sharing important details of their life.
Here are some resources that might be helpful:
GLMA Health Professionals Directory
OutCare Health Directory
What to do if you experience discrimination by a healthcare provider
Transgender Healthcare Rights
GSA Network Sexual Health Information
The Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth in crisis
QSPACES – a website for LGBTQ+ folks to find, rate and review health and wellness providers on LGBTQ-friendliness, competency and overall care
Scarlateen – LGBTQ+ inclusive sex ed
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