The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – a private Facebook group for open minded Christian moms of LGBTQ kids.
We never had a problem loving our fun, kind-hearted son, even though we were concerned for him as early as three years old.
My concerns and fears grew as he was the target of bullies, starting in third grade, and I felt that I couldn’t tell my family or Christian friends the hurt he was enduring because I didn’t want them to know that he was being called “gay”. I feared they would say that homosexuality was an abomination. I could never say that about my son. So, nothing was ever said as I waited for God to answer my prayer.
I tried to make a deal with God, that He could take me, just save my son. I knew that he was born this way and I told God over and over that it didn’t make sense that this precious kid would be judged so harshly. He was good and kind, and this was just how he was made. Would God really make someone, just to condemn them?
When our son was 25, he told us what we knew, and I hurt for him. I told him that this was not a deal breaker; he was our son and we were thankful for him. I can’t imagine how hard it was for our son to feel all alone. That is heartbreaking. He has taught me so much about love and grace.
After 23 years of fearfully praying and begging God to change my child, he did answer my prayer. As it so often goes, He changed me, not my son, and took away all of the fear and burden. This time my prayer was different in that I wasn’t begging Him, but simply asking for His guidance. The answer was loud and clear. I knew I needed God’s help to get through the totally new experience of meeting my son’s new friend (I couldn’t use the term, boyfriend). So, I asked God, “What are ‘we’ going to do?” The only thing that popped into my mind, was this sweet comment, “He is a child of Mine!” I had an instant peace and knew God didn’t need me to fix this. I also started thinking about how to treat a child of God, and the answer was to simply show love.
Now that my burden was lifted, I wondered if there are others that have hidden and continue to hide from their Christian community and family. As I looked around to see if there were others like me God led me to Just Because They Breathe, FreedHearts and Serendipitydodah – all secret Facebook groups for moms of LGBT kids. God has continued to give me assurances of His love through the moms in these groups who, just like me, love and support their children. We share the same burden of struggling to fit into our church community that won’t accept the one who Gods says, “is a child of mine”. A child that is a blessing to us all.
Serendipitydodah for Moms is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. Our official motto is “We Are Better Together” and our nickname is “Mama Bears” The group is set up so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted there. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 1,500 members. For more info email firstname.lastname@example.org