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The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

deenah

 

Hello! I guess you can say I’ve been a Mama Bear for years and didn’t even know it. My reason for being a Mama Bear, my everything, is now a grown handsome man who is also my Best Friend!

I grew up in a time when people were more concerned with Civil Rights than LGBTQ rights. In fact, it was so hush hush (and I was so naive) I never knew such a life existed.

My son was born when my first marriage was ending, so, it was just him and me for 4 years. He never cried. He was always bubbly and charming. People would always comment on how artistic he was. In High School he tried to date girls to please me. At the time I didn’t know he was doing this for me, but I did notice his bubbly attitude was diminishing.

One day we were driving somewhere and he turned to me and said very quietly, “Mom … remember when you said you wanted grand kids, and so and so said I was going to be gay, and you said not my son?”

At the time I didn’t remember saying that and I told him, “No. But what’s on your mind?”

“Well,” he said, “I’m that way,”

I listened to him and told him, “Who am I to tell you who to love? You’re my son. You’ll forever be my son. I love you and will support you in anything you choose. I have told you since birth that you have to live your dreams, because no one can live them for you. And that goes for love too.”

He’s actually 6 feet tall and from that moment on, I could literally see the clouds lift and he began to hold his head higher.

Those beginning years were not easy. My second husband was not very accepting. We had our differences. But I never stopped supporting my son.

Over the years my son made a name for himself by producing shows in West Hollywood. Of course I am always in the front row of his shows and these days he promotes up and coming artists at shows for Pride throughout the world. His clients are on Billboard and he is presently promoting a bisexual singer.

I go with him to the different clubs when he’s out networking. And he’ll introduce me to his friends. Almost every time I go with him I hear someone say, “I wish my mom would go out with me? I wish she would accept my friends. I wish she would accept me.” I tell them to never give up hope and share how I was once naive. I give them a lot of really great hugs, let them know I’m always available to talk and make sure they know how to reach me on messenger.

A couple of years ago my son was promoting a drag show at Bar 10 in Santa Monica and my husband said he wanted to attend. Of course, our mouths dropped wide open but we were happy for him to go and sit in the front row with me. At the end of the show my husband went to my son, gave him in a big hug and said how sorry he was that he had not been more open to him growing up. Lots of happy tears were shed that night and today we’re all a lot closer.

Not too long ago, my niece came out to my brother. When he told me about it, he said he saw how I was. The only advice I gave him was, “accept and love her, because they will be who they will be”

I’m really proud of my son and what he has accomplished.

We proudly march at Pride events together when we can.

I’m a personnel manager for Walmart and we often join other stores and march all together!

Years ago I wanted to make sure I taught my son not to see people for their race or color. I didn’t know that once day he would teach me to see people with love.

 

Serendipitydodah for Moms is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com