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acceptance, bible, children, Christian, church, family, Inclusion, Justice, letter, LGBT, LGBTQ, love, parents
The mothers in my private Facebook support group, Serendipitydodah for Moms, were very encouraged when First Baptist Church Greenville adopted an LGBT non-discrimination policy. Their willingness to allow same sex couples to marry, ordain LGBT people and embrace the complexities of gender identity give families like ours hope for the future.
However, we were disheartened when Dwight Easler of the South Carolina Baptist Convention sent a letter to First Baptist Church Greenville calling on them to recant their LGBT non-discrimination policy or be disassociated. (You can read the story here and here.)
In response we sent this letter, with more than 150 signatures, to Mr Easler and all the board and staff members of the South Carolina Baptist Convention:
Dear Mr. Easler and all SC Baptist Convention Board and Staff Members,
We write to you as Christian mothers of LGBT kids. We are part of a large private Facebook group. We presently have more than 550 members and continue to grow. The focus of our group is to develop and maintain healthy, loving relationships with our LGBT kids and to make the world a safer, kinder, more loving place for our kids to live.
Recently we were very encouraged when we heard about First Baptist Greenville’s LGBT non-discrimination policy. However, your request for First Baptist Greenville to recant its policy or face the possibility of being disassociated from the South Carolina Baptist Convention is very disheartening to us.
We write not only on behalf of our children but on behalf of all LGBT people.
Religious rejection is the most common reason LGBT youth are driven from their homes. Last year at least 200,000 LGBT youth experienced homelessness in the United States and many of them were rejected because of their parents’ religious beliefs.
In addition to LGBT youth making up 40% of homeless youth population (even though LGBT people only make up 5% of the overall population) we know that LGBT people in general often struggle with depression, self-loathing and thoughts of suicide as a result of Christian teachings.
Although there are reputable theologians on both sides of the religious debate there is nothing in scripture to absolutely condemn or support same sex relationships. However, Jesus Christ is never recorded as having said a word in judgment or condemnation of homosexuality or of LGBT people.
Even if we were to concede that something in scripture did condemn LGBT people or same sex relationships we would appeal to you to consider that there are biblical writings endorsing conduct that we now recognize as wrong. There are passages that endorse the rape of enemies’ wives and the murder of their children, and some that endorse slavery and even genocide. However, they are not maintained as part of church teaching today. Such passages are recognized to be cruel and immoral, and reflective of the ignorance of more primitive times. Therefore, we ask you to recognize that the condemnation of homosexuality is also cruel and wrong, and rooted in a primitive, obsolete understanding of human sexuality. We ask you to join the growing number of Christians, Christian faith communities and Christian organizations who choose to welcome and embrace LGBT people with love and acceptance.
When our theology produces hopelessness, depression, self-loathing and self-harm we are obligated to examine our beliefs in order to discover where we have gone wrong. The good news of Jesus Christ should be life giving and life producing. Good theology should produce good fruit.
As Baptists you are among the largest and most influential religious organizations in the U.S. The message that all same sex relationships are wrong and unacceptable continues to produce bad fruit. No matter how lovingly it is delivered it continues to produce death … relational death, spiritual death, emotional death and even physical death.
We share, with you, the belief that God is love. We know in our hearts that any suffering LGBT people endure is ultimately a violation against love. How tragic if anything under the banner of Christianity would contribute to that violation.
We call on you, in the name of love and justice, to embrace the radical idea of inclusion and acceptance of ALL God’s children that Paul put forth in Galatians 5:6 when he wrote “the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”
Whoever has ears let them hear,
Abby De Fiesta Cortez
Adele Berardi
Alise D Chaffins
Angie Laws
Anita Jewell Carter Cockrum
Barb Cressy
Becky Cantrall
Beth Breems
Bethany Kirwen
Bonnie Miranda
Bridget Murphy
Carla Short Spivey
Carol Beth Wiggins Baswell
Carol Fuss Reed
Carole Bass
Caroline Williams Joyce
Cassy Taylor Campos
Cathleen Frantzen Schaber
Cheri Nill
Cheri Simpson
Chris Behne
Cindy Morgan
Colleen Kane
Crista Mason
Dana Huntington-Smith
Danette Mohring
Dawn Bennett Jones
Dawn Pulley Ervin
Deb Gallagher
Debbie McCullough Hayhurst
Debbie Wasielewski Tavarez
Debby McCrary
Debi Jackson
Debi Tucker Boland
Deborah Carlyle Enman
Denise Ramirez-Tatum
Derry Cronin Gleason
Diana Dermit McCarthy
Diane Blevins Smith
Donna Holmes
Doris Wright
Gena Rogers
Genell Brown
Georgi Persons
Heather Clevenger
Heather Gee-Thomas
Irene Gilliland
Jacqueline Rutledge
Jan Roberts
Jane Clementi
Jane Moody
Jaron Terry
Jennifer Dunnam Stringfellow
Jennifer Schaffner Burkhardt
Jennifer Seeger
Jennifer Stake White
Jerri Surles Collins
Jill Spicer
Joani Lea Jack
Jody Miller Vanderzell
Joy Denton
Judith K Volkar
Julie Greene
Julie Kennedy Eaton
Kathi Nicholson
Kathy Renne Post
Katie Willhite Brooks
Kay Otting
Kay Whistler
Kelli Lewis Decker
Kim Freeman Weill
Kim Kendall
Kim McMahon
Kim Sonntag
Kimberly Jones
Kimberlyn Graham
Kori Pavkov
Kyle Jump
Lannette Sargent
Laura Sparks Turner
LeAnn Fenner
Lenora Lea Gill
Lesa Edwards-Schepers
Lesley Davis
Leslie Jones Webster
Linda Ling
Linda Rooney
Linda York O’Connell
Lisa Bray
Lisa Golden Dugger
Lisa Maniscalco Hildebrand
Lisa Osborne
Liz Dyer
Lori Love-Wise
Lynette Joy
Madai Girard
Mally Baum
Mally Shell Hatch
Margie Candler
Maria Breeden
Marianne Minier Walker
Marjorie Rudolph
Marlene Lund
Martha Maust
Mary Kay Weil
Melea Broekers
Meredith Webster Indermaur
Michele Freemyer Grabbe
Michele Manuel Fuselier
Michelle Bradshaw McComb
Miriam Pendley
Monica-Niki Elenbaas
Morven Roberts Baker
Nancy Barron Booher
Nancy MacDonald
Nancy Thompson Flikkema
Nancy Villegas
Nicole Havlen Hair
Nina Carley
Pam Swendig
Pauline Daly
Rachel Drouillard
Rachel Sargent
Regina Pitts Woods
Rita Daruvala
Rob Ullinger
Robin Gowan
Robinette Nacca-Cooke
Ʀosaııie Ĺane
Rose Stucchio
Roxanna Villars Gambrell
Sandra Van Dyne
Sara Cunningham
Stacey Frazier
Stacey Jackson Baeumler
Stacy Gouge Drake
Susan Berland
Susan Cloys Seaman
Susan Metcalf
Susan Foss Naranjo-Stultz
Susan Wardzinski
Susy Rowe Barnhill
Tamara Totoro Dick
Tammy Watson
Tammy Wenzinger
Tammy Wylie Barnes
Tana Lightbown Hendricks
Teresa Parker
Teri Stueland Kay
Terri Cook
Terri Nolt
Terri Schempf
Theresa Moore Martinez
Tonda Campbell Hoyt
Vicki Kemp Whorton
Vicky Barnes
Zenia Robertson
(If you are interested in joining the private Facebook group for moms of lgbt kids send an email to lizdyer55@gmail.com and put “Mom’s Facebook Group” as the subject.)
Serendipitydodah 
VERY nice! Thanks for posting Liz.
So honored and proud to be a part of this group. Thanks for posting Liz.
You are very brave women. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. IIt’s also my hope that the South Carolina Baptist Convention will not seek to take punitive measures against you.
Thank you for this letter to the SCBC. I am a member of First Baptist Greenville and am so very proud of my church. It’s so nice to see the positive responses ami all of the negative.
I LOVE this! And I feel the Spirit rising in the hearts of religious mothers of LGBTQ kids all over the world who feel that our gay+ kids DO have a part in our churches ike they do in our hearts. I’m part of a group of over 500 Mormon (and former Mormon) Moms of LGBTQ kids and we feel the same as you women. We call our group the Mama Dragons; one of the original Moms had always been known as a Mama Bear but when her son came out to her, she felt that Mama Bear wasn’t fierce enough to defend him from the nastiness in the world and felt her scales and talons and dragon fire grow as she became a Mama Dragon.
I’m so grateful to know that Mama Dragon fire is burning in Mama hearts all over the world!
Grateful for this group of moms. Hoping that these words will reach the hearts of those who need to hear them, even if it’s just LGBTQ kids and adults who know that they’re not alone.
I received a response from Mr. Easler…
“Thank you for your letter. We love and desire redemption for all people. It is our belief that Scripture does not produce hopelessness. Unhealthy definitions of sexuality and family structure produces brokenness and hopelessness. I will not address your theological views of the Bible because you equate the history of imperfect people with God’s stamp of approval on their actions which is not in the slightest way the right way to view biblical history.
In regards to Jesus addressing the issue of homosexuality I refer you to Matthew 19
“And he answered and said, Have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?”
Matthew 19:4-5 ASV
If Jesus defined God’s original intent for sex and marriage why would He need to address deviance from it?
We stand with Jesus.
Thank you,
Dwight Easler”
I won’t respond to Mr. Easler directly as it doesn’t appear he has ears to hear but my immediate thought was:
If I read scripture as Mr. Easler does I would have to assume that owning a person as a slave is acceptable to God.
Scripture tells slaves to obey their masters and instructs masters how to treat their slaves but it never condemns slaves so it must mean that it is okay to have a slave.
If I make the scriptures that mention slaves say “more” than they say I can take a leap that scripture supports the idea of slavery.
If I make the scriptures that mention marriage say “more” than they say I can take a leap that scripture supports the idea that the only marriage God approves is a marriage between a man and a woman.
BUT, if I stop making scripture say more than it says and read it a face value and consider original language and historical context while reading through the filter of love and justice – while considering the spirit of the law – which is love – then I have to come to the conclusion that there is insufficient evidence to condemn all same sex relationships and without sufficient evidence it is unjust and unloving to do such a thing.
There is more evidence in scripture to support the idea of owning a slave than there is to support the idea that the only marriage God approves of is between a man and a woman.
That’s what I call a conundrum for someone like Mr. Easler.
I am glad you sent that letter on behalf of so many in our group, Liz. And I also appreciate your follow-up thoughts (in part because they take the sting out of Easler’s “brokenness and hopelessness” commentary.)
People like Mr. Easler have already passed judgment in their hearts and minds. If he hadn’t already passed judgment, perhaps he could see that it views like HIS that create brokenness and hopelessness. If he hadn’t already passed judgment, perhaps he could see the many LGBTQ+ individuals that do practice healthy sexuality, void of brokenness and hopelessness. If he hadn’t already passed judgment, perhaps he could see the beauty of LGBTQ+ families, built with love and hope.
As for Matthew 19, wasn’t Jesus directly addressing divorce? Even so, when Jesus explained his position on marriage, he didn’t follow up by saying “make sure you exclude all others that want to build a life together.”
Anyway, thank you for trying to change the hearts and minds of the SCBC board and staff members, Liz. And thank you to everyone that signed the letter. ❤
This is one thing that always gets me, in Matthew 19 barely a handful of sentences later Jesus says there are those who aren’t meant for a one man one woman marriage. Some are called to ministry, some are incapable of fulfilling the physical aspects of a marriage because of an accident or forced castration, and some are born different. Has nobody read and pondered that? It seems to me that this is the mother of all cherry picking.