PRAYERS FOR THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY, THEIR FAMILIES AND ALLIES

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affirming, allies, Christian, LGBT, LGBTQ, Mama Bears, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Prayer, Serendipitydodah for Moms

“Prayer is an art which only the Holy Spirit can teach us…Pray for prayer – pray till you can pray, pray to be helped to pray and give not up praying because you cannot pray, for it is when you think you cannot pray that you are most praying.”  – C.H. Spurgeon 

My son came out in 2006 and, as a result, I went through a process of deconstructing my faith – re-examining what I believed and why.

One of the things that came up a lot in that process of deconstruction was “prayer”  – it caused me to have a lot of questions about prayer … did it really work? how did it work? how should I pray? could I still “believe” in prayer?

It was a difficult time for me and I went though a period where it was almost impossible for me to pray because I was no longer sure what I believed about prayer.

But, eventually I got to a place where I found peace about prayer. I didn’t necessarily find answers to my questions, but I came to the conclusion that giving up prayer was not an option for me. I came to the conclusion that I was wanted to embrace the mystery of prayer and believe in prayer because I choose to be a serious and faithful follower of Jesus and Jesus prayed and encouraged us to pray the same way he prayed.

I admit that some days my prayers are accompanied with only a mustard seed of faith but I pray anyway; and sometimes I find it very hard to pray or don’t know how to pray, but I pray anyway, even if it is just to pray about my inability to pray.

In 2009, with the help of some other Christians who were on a journey similar to my own, I started putting together a list of prayers on behalf of LGBTQ people, their families and their allies. Some of the prayers were things I simply needed to pray for myself as a Christian mother of a gay son and as an LGBTQ ally. Some of the prayers were born out of conversations I had with people, news reports I read, stories told to me and things that were being revealed to me. Over the years I have changed some of the prayers and added others.

Here is my present list:

·         Prayer for the LGBTQ community, their Families and LGBTQ Allies in general; that God will protect them and bless them, that the Holy Spirit will inspire them, inform them and guide them. 

·         Prayer for LGBTQ Christians and Christians who love and support them will be able to reconcile their faith with being affirming. 

·         Prayer that LGBTQ people would be able to live wholeheartedly into the people they were created to be. 

·         Prayer that LGBTQ people will be able to make connections with affirming Christians and find affirming faith communities. 

·         Prayer for all Christian leaders, faith communities and denominations who are working through LGBTQ issues. Prayer that God will give them insight, wisdom, clear understanding and guide them towards truth,  justice, love and light.

·         Prayer that LGBTQ people, their families and allies who have been hurt by the church or by individual Christians will still be able to receive God’s love and affirmation – that they will be able to know that those people and those churches are not God and do not represent how God sees them. 

·         Prayer that LGBTQ people and those who support them will not harbor bitterness or resentment; that they will find healing and wholeness, and as a result, be able to forgive those who trespass against them. 

·         Prayer for people in long-term same-sex relationships to find lasting stability despite the lack of role models for LGBTQ couples. Prayer for God to lift up role models for same sex couples to help them form healthy and lasting relationships. Prayer of gratitude for the progress being made for same sex marriage across the world. 

·         Prayer for everyone living with HIV/AIDS. Prayer that God will comfort them and give them access to the healthcare they need. Prayer of gratitude thanking God for the medical progress made for the treatment of HIV/AIDS and prayer for continued progress. 

·         Prayer for LGBTQ youth who are experiencing bullying to know that God loves them no matter what and that they can always turn to him. Prayer for teachers, school administrators, community leaders, parents, neighbors, church leaders, youth leaders etc to see any bullying that occurs, to stand up against it, put programs in place to help create safe environments for LGBTQ youth and make it known that they are a safe person for LGBTQ youth to turn to.

 ·         Prayer that God will work in families torn apart by homophobia and that the spirit of God would lead those families to understanding, grace, forgiveness and reconciliation.

 ·         Prayer for LGBTQ people, young and old, who have been misunderstood, silenced, rejected and/or marginalized by friends and family members directly and indirectly. Prayer that they would find the support and encouragement they need to help them withstand the pain of being misunderstood, silenced, rejected and/or marginalized by their family and friends. 

 ·         Prayer that religious leaders will recognize the problem of homophobia in the church, courageously confront it and work to rid the church of homophobia. 

·         Prayer for all ex-gay ministries and conversion therapy in all forms to end. 

·         Prayer that all countries with anti LGBTQ laws to be moved by the Holy Spirit towards love and justice.

 ·         Prayer against all homophobic and transphobic violence. Prayers for all who are victims of homophobic and transphobic violence.

·         Prayer for courage, wholeness, integrity, understanding, peace, humility, love, freedom, vision, transformation.  

What prayer would you add?

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That’s A Really Good Question #5 – Can I just use someone’s name instead of trying to use “they/them” pronouns?

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education, gender non-conforming, intersex, language, LGBT, LGBTQ, non-binary, Pronouns, question, Really Good Question, transgender

Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of lgbtq kids. This series will address common questions that often get asked by members of the group. For more information about the group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Someone recently mentioned to me that they were very uncomfortable using “they/them” pronouns for someone because there were sentences where it sounded weird to them. They asked if I thought it would be offensive to use the person’s name instead of using “they/them” in place of “he/him” or “she/her”

My response was that it is always okay to substitute someone’s name for pronouns. However, I warned them, if they consistently try to avoid using someone’s personal pronouns it is more likely they would end up making more mistakes. It is extremely difficult and awkward to avoid using pronouns and, therefore, fairly obvious when someone is trying to avoid doing so. That obvious avoidance can in itself be offensive to someone who has shared their personal pronouns.

For example:

Instead of saying:

“They are coming by for dinner. They asked to bring the salad. This is so them.”

You would have to say:

“Billy is coming by for dinner and asked if Billy could bring the salad. This is so Billy.”

More than likely you would probably end up saying:

“Billy is coming by for dinner and asked if he could bring the salad. This is so Billy.”

And that would mean that you used the wrong pronoun which would be offensive.

Therefore, my advice is: if one really wants to honor and respect a person they should use their correct personal pronouns.

If you make a mistake you can simply apologize and correct yourself. (i.e. “oops, I meant to say them”) and go on.

Here’s some more thoughts about personal pronouns:

In English, whether we realize it or not, people frequently refer to others by using pronouns.

Often, people make assumptions about the gender of another person based on the person’s appearance or name, but those assumptions are not always correct.

If someone shares their pronouns with you, it’s meant to disrupt the idea of making assumptions, and to provide you with the information you need in order to refer to them appropriately.

Using someone’s correct personal pronouns is a way to respect them and create an inclusive environment, just as using a person’s name can be a way to respect them.

Just as it can be offensive to call someone by the wrong name, it can be offensive to use the wrong pronouns for someone.

Actively refusing to use the pronouns someone has stated that they go by could imply the oppressive and offensive notion that intersex, transgender, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people do not or should not exist.

It is worth noting that a person who goes by “they” could actually be a man, a woman, both, neither, or something else entirely. However, people’s genders tend to be a private issue, therefore, the sharing of pronouns should not be taken as an invitation to ask for potentially private information about someone’s gender.

What about grammar?

There is nothing grammatically wrong with using “they” as a singular pronoun. In English, we already use singular “they” all the time when the gender of a person is unknown. Say you see some money on the ground and pick it up. You might say: “Oh, someone dropped their money here. I’ll set it aside for them, I bet they are looking everywhere!”

Using “he or she” and “his or hers” in this situation is awkward, so we use singular “they” instead.

When someone uses “they/them” pronouns, all you have to do is apply that same sentence construction:

“Oh, Desmond dropped their money here. I’ll set it aside for them, I bet they are looking everywhere!”

Major dictionaries have recognized singular “they” as grammatically correct for years. The word “they” has been used as a singular pronoun since at least the 16th century, and some argue it goes back even earlier. The AP Style Guide also allows the usage of singular “they” in cases where a subject doesn’t identify as male or female.

There are certainly ways to avoid using singular “they” and some people are still insistent on doing so. However, in the end it takes a lot more linguistic gymnastics to not use pronouns and that makes it much more likely that offensive mistakes will be made more often.

So, next time you are faced with using “they” in the singular, you don’t have to worry about proper grammar, because singular “they” is grammatically correct.

Last but certainly not least … Why is it important to get pronouns right?

Using the pronouns that someone has shared with you affirms the identity of the person. It can be a difficult step for someone to find it in themselves to acknowledge their identity.  More than likely they’ve had to find the courage to share the fact that they don’t fit into the binary world and that can be very difficult because as a whole the world is not supportive of intersex, transgender, non-binary and gender non-conforming people.

When you get an intersex, transgender, non-binary or gender non-conforming person’s  pronouns right you bring much needed relief to their emotional and psychological well being. The simple act of using the correct pronouns may give them the courage to keep moving forward and living their life as their most authentic self.

Recent studies have even shown that correct pronoun usage can dramatically decrease the depression and suicidal tendencies that are so prevalent among LGBTQ youth.

Therefore, as I said earlier, if you really want to honor and respect a person use their correct personal pronouns. It is the kind, loving, respectful thing to do.

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Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of lgbtq kids. Our official motto is “Better Together” and our nickname is “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and as of July 2019 has more than 6,500 members. For more info about the private facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

 

Mama Bear Story Project #48 – Bee Brody

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LGBT, LGBT Youth, LGBTQ, lgbtq youth, Mama Bear, Mama Bear Story Project, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Serendipitydodah for Moms, Story

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

 

I stand at the bathroom counter brushing my teeth. Three of my four children are in bed and the oldest, a 15-year-old girl, is on her way home. Our house is locked, the windows drawn. I feel at peace, knowing that this day, I have successfully checked off all the religious to-dos; prayers have been said, scriptures read. My temple recommend is valid, my faith strong. While we are not perfect as a family, I feel God is cognizant of our efforts and pleased with our work.

I hear the front door unlock, footsteps on the stairs, and the bathroom door opens. My eldest daughter, the one we prayed to have, the one we were blessed with after a miscarriage and years of trying, stands, not looking at me, defiant and, I see now, scared.

“I’m bisexual and I don’t want to talk about it.”

My toothbrush stops moving. My child runs to her room. I hear the door close. I don’t drop to my knees. I don’t burst into tears or rail against God or wonder what I did wrong in my parenting to make her this way (all of that will come later, over agonizing years).

I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk about it. She’s been to every standards night, every chastity talk. She sat in class while teachers praised marriage between a man and a woman and she knows that I’m a full-self Mormon—I work with an eye single to God’s glory.

I rinse my mouth, wipe out the sink and search for my husband. We talk. Did we see this coming? Were there signs? Is this a phase, like the year she spent playing Pompeii with the neighbor kids? And, most telling about my lack of education: will she outgrow it? Does she just need to find a nice LDS boy who will appreciate her precocious and feisty nature?

Fast forward four years, and a Policy announcement, and thousands of tears later, and I can say with certainty that no, she will not outgrow it. It is not a phase, and all the nice LDS boys in the world will not make her less attracted to girls. Her understanding of her own sexual identity continues to change and we’re both beginning to suspect that being with a boy, for her, is the shadow of love, not the brightest expression of it. If she seeks to find oneness with her spouse, that fulfillment may not be possible in a heterosexual relationship.

She will also never graduate from Seminary because the test questions asked her to explain why homosexuality is a sin and so she quit going in order to protect her emotional health. She’ll never go on a mission because how can she preach about a God of love when she feels no love in His church? She will not attend meetings, where she has felt less-than, been told that her sexuality is disgusting, that God ranks sins and He puts hers at the top, right next to murder.

My beautiful daughter, who doesn’t kill spiders because everything deserves a life, is told that if she wants Life Eternal, she has to voluntarily endure this life without the companionship that she’s been taught are most central to our existence—that of spouse and children.

She believes in something, but she no longer believes in the god of the LDS faith. The lessons about the Proclamation outshouted those about love and sent her scurrying to find safety outside of orthodoxy. She’s been convinced by well-meaning but wrong leaders that if she can’t get in line with this one item in the Handbook, she isn’t welcome to participate in any of the others. A spouse and children are beyond her reach if she wants to take the Sacrament on Sunday.

So, she has to choose: a personal God who loves her fully, or the hollow appearance of godliness? A family in this life, or a life without this church? She did not ask for this dichotomy. It was forced on her, and at 15, when she innocently believed Priesthood leaders would have her back if she would just be honest with them, she was told she had to choose.

I am currently living tenuously within a religious structure that says we are all gods in embryo but rejects the nature God gave my child. And I feel that separation deeply. I feel violently hewn from the god of my youth because I no longer believe the Sunday School answers: pray, read your scriptures, go to church. We say that God loves you because you are His child but the message sent by the organization is different. The institution of our religion says that He loves you sometimes. He will make you perfect unless.

But I reject the qualifiers. God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. Full stop.

When people stand in Sacrament meeting and talk about how God has blessed them with children who were married in the temple, I repeat to myself that God’s blessings for my child are different but equally powerful. When a child is praised for going on a mission, I remind myself that my daughter is on a mission, no less divine, because she lives every day as an ambassador for love first and leaves the rest to Him.

I have learned to say to every child, and especially my own, “Yes, your nature is Divine, exactly as it is, because God made you and He is perfect. You are beautiful and you are beloved and you are enough because God looked at all that He made and said ‘it is good.’ You, my precious child, are exactly as He meant you to be and He will make this pain and this anger and this heartache right some day. And we will all, together, sit at His feet in joy.”

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Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,800 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Mama Bear Story Project #47 – Katie Barnes Burwell

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Free Mom Hugs, Hugs, love, Mama Bear, Mama Bear Story Project, Mama Bears, mamabears, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Pride, Serendipitydodah, Story, Support

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

June is an exciting month for Serendipitydodah Mama Bears as they dress up and get together to go out to Pride events to offer hugs and high fives, and share words of encouragement, support and affirmation.

This is nothing new …  instead, it is a tradition that is being carried on.

Moms of LGBTQ kids have always showed up in support of Pride Protests and Parades.

Jeanne Manford, the founder of PFLAG, was among the first moms of LGBTQ Kids to March and show her support. In 1972 she marched alongside her son, Morty, in what would eventually become New York City’s gay pride march, and she continued to show up and march in many Pride Parades throughout her life. She even served as a Grand Marshal in 1991 and 1993.

Serendipitydodah Mama Bears are proud to continue the tradition that Mama Bear Jeanne Manford started. They love Pride and what it represents. They are honored and proud to show up, march and hand out hugs and high fives. They consider Pride to be an important element in helping to make the world a kinder, safer, more loving place for all lgbtq people to live.

Katie Barnes Burwell is one Serendipitydodah Mama Bear who went out to a Pride event this month …

I CAN’T SEE MY FEET!!! by Katie Barnes Burwell

I made this skirt as poooooofy as I could manage.

I was going for silly and approachable this year and IT WORKED!!

I got to give and get tons of hugs!!

This picture was me before heading out to Sacramento Pride for the Parade.

It was a good day!

Good and heartbreaking at the same time.

So many whispers in my ear mid hug, “thank you…my mom won’t hug me.”

I have a personal rule about hugging kids.

I don’t let go first.

I let them hang on as long as they need … my kids, my bonus kids, the kids at the festival, and a couple adults too.

It can be awkward, but, when my huggees realize I won’t let go till they do, it breaks the dam and the tears come.

It’s good work we Mama Bears do.

We are needed.

Happy Pride!

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Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Mama Bear Story Project #46 – Jennifer O’Rourke

Tags

Christian, church, LGBT, LGBT Youth, LGBTQ, Mama Bear, Mama Bear Story Project, Mama Bears, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Serendipitydodah, Serendipitydodah for Moms

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

In 2017, I watched my daughter, Kat, sit on stage ready to be baptized. A woman who was standing next to her said in front of the whole audience, “One of my favorite things about you is the energy and the light that you have in you for the kids. You’re there every Sunday, worshipping and leading a small group. It is my honor to baptize you today.”

I was so proud of my daughter that day. She was 15 and passionately devoted to God and her church. I was glad to be in a church where the senior pastor, Andy Stanley, once preached that the “church should be the safest place on the planet for gay teens.” I couldn’t have expected then what would happen a year later.

Last June, my daughter showed up to church to lead worship in the elementary environment. The same woman, Christy, who had baptized her told her that morning that because she had come out as gay on Instagram, she could no longer serve in leadership, meaning she could no longer be a worship leader or lead her second-grade small group. She was, however, allowed to volunteer in other ways, such as handing out flyers and working in the parking team — just no leadership roles. Our daughter was crushed. Kat had felt called to work with children (she’s currently working towards a degree in pediatric oncology) and to sing, and she felt that the church had just taken her purpose away.

What followed was the worst three months of our lives as parents. She went from a happy-go-lucky girl to someone who had suicidal thoughts and needed to be watched over 24/7. She’s much better now, but it was devastating then for her to lose her sense of purpose and all of her friends. My husband, who volunteered as a technical director there, and I, who worked with 3 to 4-year-old kids in the church, lost our friend-groups as well.

The loss was doubly painful because we moved to Georgia because we had felt called to be in this church. We started attending Andy Stanley’s church in the late 1990’s. We spent a decade in his church before moving to Massachusetts for my husband’s work in 2009. We would drive for 20 hours down to Atlanta for Christmas and Easter services; we watched Stanley’s sermons online every week.

Five years ago, my husband was offered a choice to relocate to anywhere in the United States. We picked Georgia because of North Point Ministries. We attended Woodstock City Church, where Stanley’s sermons were beamed in every Sunday (NPM has six churches across Georgia). Our entire family’s lives revolved around our church, including Kat’s. Every Sunday, she would go to church to lead worship at the 9am service, lead a 2nd-grade small group at 11am, then worship at the 1:30pm adult service, and then finally attend the high school service at 4:30pm. She “hosts” a bible study in her car before school and writes an inspirational Christian blog.

I’d always been affirming of the LGBT-community. A few years ago, I heard Andy preach that the church should be the “safest place for gay youth.” These words were music to my ears. I had always wondered if my views lined up with my church on this topic and I finally felt I had clear confirmation that we were on the same page. I had also heard him preach a sermon incorporating a story about a gay couple who volunteered at his church. I never felt a need to ask further questions back then.

Before I knew my daughter was gay, my husband and I had already assured her and all our children that we would be a safe place for them if they did come out. We even offered to house any of their friends who might need a safe place to crash after coming out to their parents. So when she did come out to us in February 2018, it was a fairly nonchalant affair. She told her close friends and even her small group in church, and everyone was amazingly supportive.

Things changed in June 2018. Billboard Magazine was doing a series about celebrities who had come out, and Kat decided that she wanted to come out publicly on Facebook. She posted a beautiful “love letter” to the gay community and for the first time publicly declared that she is gay. It was part of a campaign for PRIDE month and I couldn’t be prouder of the words she wrote. The comments she received were so positive and uplifting.

She received no negative feedback until she attended church the next weekend, where she was told she could no longer lead at North Point Ministries. She felt disowned by her church family. When her birthday rolled around in August, no one from church — her main community — celebrated it with her.

The leaders at our church gave various ‘reasons’ why she could no longer lead. One person on staff told her that it was for her safety that they didn’t want her to lead, as they did not want anyone who was against gay people to confront her at church. When Kat responded, saying, “I will have to deal with this my whole life, I don’t mind dealing with it,” they told her that these confrontations would take the focus away from what they were trying to do at church.

The pastor of Woodstock City Church, Gavin, wrote to us in late July that “in most of our leadership volunteer positions (small group leaders, stage, etc.), when a person goes through a significant life change moment (as Kaitlyn is doing), we often ask them to step away for a season for their own health.” I told him that I did consider my daughter’s coming out as a “significant life change,” but it was a “positive” one that should be celebrated. “As far as I know the church doesn’t have you take a break when you get engaged, married, find out your expecting or buying your first home. Why would they?” I replied.

Gavin responded via email* more than a week later with his rationale for why he had to ask my daughter to step away:

“Your daughter’s public pronouncement can be celebrated by family and friends. But if we ignore it or pretend it didn’t happen publicly, we potentially will cause others to stumble: other volunteers who are still exploring faith, other parents who don’t agree or understand, and other kids who aren’t ready for this conversation.

“If I could say it this way: This is so much bigger than your daughter. Paul believed it was way bigger than him, too. This is as big as our mission and the Kingdom, and anything that could cause our mission to suffer is always considered. Sometimes that feels deeply personal. But I would ask you to consider if it’s worth taking this stand and continuing to volunteer in the exact same position if someone else’s faith would struggle or never begin.” (bolding is my emphasis)

Once I realized he was implying that our fight for our daughter would cause other people to lose their faith, and he was implicitly asking us if we wanted that responsibility on our hands, I stopped communicating. I was done.

I do not know why “the safest place in the world for gay teens” has a policy that will not allow gay people to be in leadership. I do know that if I knew about this policy of North Point Ministries, I would not have started going here twenty years ago. I feel misled by Andy Stanley; he was not only lying to us, he was deceiving gay people in his church. My daughter thought her church was a safe place to bring her gay friends, and she still feels guilty for having exposed her friends to that church.

I met with Woodstock’s leadership to let them know that their policies needed to match their preaching, and that if they weren’t going to let gay people in every position then they needed to be clear about that upfront. I was told that it was because of my daughter’s choice to come out publicly that the church’s hands were tied so they had to enforce their policy.

After the last communication with Woodstock’s leadership, my family and I, with broken hearts, began the search for a new church. We’ve since met amazing community and my daughter has found a new place that encourages her to use her gifts. She’s dating someone, and we have found joy in ways we did not expect.

I only hope that North Point Ministries will understand that while they may have ‘good intentions,’ to be unclear is never the loving thing to do. It only causes harm.

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Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Mama Bear Story Project #45 – Jenny Morgan

Tags

LGBT, LGBT Youth, LGBTQ, love, Mama Bear, Mama Bear Story Project, Mama Bears, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Serendipitydodah, Serendipitydodah for Moms, Story

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

 

We are all God’s children, and we all deserve love, grace, and mercy.

Throughout my life my faith has been challenged, but I have always found my way back to God. This is a story about my faith, as I understood it, being ripped to pieces and my beliefs about God all but destroyed. It is a story about finally coming back to my faith and to a God who loves all, unconditionally. This is a story about my daughter finding her courage to be true to herself and risking it all to reveal that to everyone around her.

My daughter was always a curious, sensitive child with deep thoughts and a heart of love. But when she hit puberty, it was like a dark hole swallowed up the child I knew and loved. My teen became sullen and angry with everyone, with life. I thought it was because she was bullied at school and because we had moved far away from the only hometown she knew. After much conferring, we felt it necessary and important to enroll her in a private Christian school. Life seemed better, but there were still tremendous mood swings. I figured it was a phase they would grow out of. Soon, they graduated and went off to college. Again, I figured life was going to get better for her, that she would find her wings and fly. Little did I know…we were about to embark on a journey none of us were prepared for.

It became apparent that something was seriously wrong, but Autumn would not talk to us about it. All she said, was that, if she told us, it would destroy us. I assured her that nothing she was hiding could destroy us. As Autumn became more and more disengaged and troubled we decided it was time for her to come home from school and get help. From my view, life continued to be bleak and dark for Autumn, but she would not open up to us or anyone. Finally, one day in November 2014, Autumn came out. She explained, that in short, she had been born in the wrong body. Although, gendered as a boy at birth, in reality she was a female in her heart, soul, and mind. I won’t lie, my world came crashing down. I carried on, but I began to question everything.

Autumn’s fear of her secret destroying us was not far from the truth, but one thing remained – my love for my child. That could not be destroyed. We were devastated – how would our future look for each of us moving forward? So, our journey began anew. No longer a son, but a daughter. Eighteen months later, Autumn came out to the world, declaring her new name and her new identity, an identity she had hid for years, one that she was aware of, but one we had no clue about. That same day, I came out to those around me. People could choose to walk with me or walk away. It was not open for discussion. I have been blessed that so many of my friends and family continued to walk with us and embrace Autumn as her true self.

I have been fortunate – not many people have challenged me on how my faith can accept a transgender child. Those that have questioned, must not truly know my child. This is not a choice and there is no “agenda”. It is not about Satan getting a hold of my child, as some may think. My child is not lost. She is not a freak. And she most certainly is not damned to hell. She is loved and cherished and accepted by a God much bigger than the box many try to put Him Autumn is a delight. She is kind and sensitive. She is a blessing to those around her. She is a true friend to those who know her and accept her. And, perhaps most important – she is brave, strong, and courageous.

My story is about grace, love and mercy. God’s loving arms are big enough to hold everyone. After all, Christ instructed us to love one another, not judge one another.

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Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Mama Bear Story Project #44 – Glenda Crump

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LGBT, LGBTQ, Mama Bear, Mama Bear Story Project, Mama Bears, Serendipitydodah, Serendipitydodah for Moms, Story

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

Looking back now I can see that there were signs I/we should have picked up on. Like the many Christmas mornings that she discarded the dolls and frilly things and opted for her brothers cars and sports equipment. I should have noticed the lack of desire to wear lacy pink things and stating they were itchy when questioned. It should have been a clue when she adored only the female heroines in TV shows and movies. Certainly it should have been a red flag the day she told me she wanted to die young and when I asked her why she simply stated that no one cries over old people in an obituary but everyone is sad when someone young dies. I guess If I knew then what I know now I would have picked up on those clues but she didn’t even know she was gay yet how could we have known? In High school she just thought she was a good little Mormon girl when all her friends were having temptations with boys and getting into trouble and it wasn’t an issue for her at all. I suspect she started to realize the truth around  the age of 18. So she chose to go on a mission partly to delay the whole marriage issue and partly to ask her Heavenly Father that if she would serve Him for those 18 months if He would take away those feelings. She served valiantly but those feelings remained. After her mission my husband and I and 3 of her 8 siblings moved to Texas for work, and she went back to Utah State to continue her education….and she struggled. I was too far away to know the depths of her struggle or the pain and anguish she endured as she tried to navigate an unknown path completely alone. I knew she had depression and anxiety, I knew she had been to see doctors and a therapist, I knew she was on medication, I just didn’t know why she was suffering. My heart aches every time I think of how she must have felt alone and scared, knowing her future would never hold for her all that she had been promised, knowing her new path would take her away from the church she had grown up in, served in and Loved, knowing her secret would destroy her family.

I remember when she was having a hard time with a relationship she was having and I guess I just knew. We were talking on the phone, she was once again sad and I asked her if this painful relationship was a girl. Silence! Heartbreaking Silence on both ends! Then she just sobbed into the phone and my world crashed around me. I wanted to grab her through the phone and hold her and tell her we would figure it out. At the time I thought it was something she could “overcome”. I remember getting on my knees many times and begging Heavenly Father to change her, to send her someone that she COULD fall in Love with, have a Temple Marriage and a family with. I lined her up with a friends brother-in-law, he liked her …she is sweet and beautiful and fun… and I had hope. Then one day on the phone she said “Mom I will marry him if that is what YOU want” NO that is not what I want! I want you to marry who will make YOU happy.  Sadly I realized the big wedding she always dreamed of and planned for was gone her Temple marriage was gone. My heart hurt for the grandchildren I would Never have. I did not know how to help her, I did not know where to turn. When I went to my Bishop for guidance he gave me none, except to compare my sweet innocent daughter to a pedophile… I felt all alone. I didn’t know anyone who was gay and I was embarrassed that people would find out. My prayers changed then. Instead of asking Him to change her I began to pray for understanding, for a knowledge of how to help her, and for comfort for all of us. I prayed He would comfort and strengthen her, and keep her safe. How do I combine my Love for my daughter with my Love for a Gospel that is a part of who I am? I wanted to be True to the teachings that have guided my entire life, I wanted to follow the Prophet who I Loved, but I needed to Love my daughter. How do you do both in a religion that basically condemns her? I was confused, lost, scared and alone. I feared for her future, I mourned for the loss of my grand kids I thought she could never give me. They were some of the darkest days I have ever experienced.

 I remember shopping one day and I got a text message from her that read “Mom, I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to hurt you anymore, I don’t want to hurt anymore.” and she named a long list of pills she had taken. I tried to call her but she wouldn’t answer the phone. I panicked ….I was over a thousand miles away from her. Her brothers and sisters and dad were an hour and a half away. I contacted the only person I knew who lived in Logan and she went and got her and took her to the hospital. I got on the first plane I could to Utah and spent some time with her, trying to help her figure it all out. But I didn’t even know how, there were no resources, no leadership help, no one who would understand and guide us. Every day was terrifying and after that, I hated to hear my phone ring. I never knew if I would one day loose her, the fear was crushing. There were days I couldn’t focus on anything but how to help her. I prayed more than ever and I read every book and pamphlet about the topic I could get my hands on. I watched pod casts and videos, and Ted talks and then I heard about the Mama Bears and the Mama Dragons. I can’t describe how much these groups of Compassionate, Caring, Loving women changed my life. I found solace when I thought there was none. I found women who had the same love for the Gospel AND for their gay children as I did. I found support, comfort, understanding, guidance, and most of all Unconditional Love…Pure Christ like Love ..and it saved me. It was like a gasp of air… life saving air after being under water feeling like you’re going to die. We share stories, we laugh together til our sides ache, we Celebrate together and we Cry together…the kind of crying when the tears are running down your face and your nose runs and your heart can’t take the sorrow one more second. Meeting these Mama’s  in person is like coming home where you feel warm and safe, and it gives you a strength that you didn’t know you even had. We get together for lunches and it is such a comfort to hear their stories and to share my own. I AM NO LONGER ALONE! and I feel empowered to share what I know so that I can help other families and save the lives of other kids who are struggling with their new path of the unknown.

I now have the courage to share what I know with the leaders in my faith so that they can help youth who come to them for guidance. I am so grateful that I can share our story to help bring understanding and acceptance for the LGBTQ community. My daughter still went through difficult times but I was better equipped to help her and I was not ashamed to fully accept who she is and to LOVE her, truly LOVE her the way she needed to be loved. I see my daughter in a more perfect light the way God sees her, the way He created her. I was able to help my daughter see that she had an incredible wonderful life ahead of her and that she had support and acceptance from her whole family. It helped her to know she was accepted and loved but she still has difficult days. She was married to a woman, and she had that Big Beautiful wedding in a Gorgeous white dress. They have a darling 5 year old girl and a 3 year old little boy that we all adore. They have since divorced so my daughter is a single mom who is completely devoted to her children. She is a High school teacher, writer, and an artist. My Heart is full every day for how my life has been blessed with her and her 2 children in it.

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Serendipitydodah for Moms is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Mama Bear Story Project #43 – Deena Hernandez

Tags

LGBT, LGBTQ, love, love is the movement, Mama Bear Story Project, Mama Bears, Moms of LGBT, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Serendipitydodah, Serendipitydodah for Moms

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

 

Hello! I guess you can say I’ve been a Mama Bear for years and didn’t even know it. My reason for being a Mama Bear, my everything, is now a grown handsome man who is also my Best Friend!

I grew up in a time when people were more concerned with Civil Rights than LGBTQ rights. In fact, it was so hush hush (and I was so naive) I never knew such a life existed.

My son was born when my first marriage was ending, so, it was just him and me for 4 years. He never cried. He was always bubbly and charming. People would always comment on how artistic he was. In High School he tried to date girls to please me. At the time I didn’t know he was doing this for me, but I did notice his bubbly attitude was diminishing.

One day we were driving somewhere and he turned to me and said very quietly, “Mom … remember when you said you wanted grand kids, and so and so said I was going to be gay, and you said not my son?”

At the time I didn’t remember saying that and I told him, “No. But what’s on your mind?”

“Well,” he said, “I’m that way,”

I listened to him and told him, “Who am I to tell you who to love? You’re my son. You’ll forever be my son. I love you and will support you in anything you choose. I have told you since birth that you have to live your dreams, because no one can live them for you. And that goes for love too.”

He’s actually 6 feet tall and from that moment on, I could literally see the clouds lift and he began to hold his head higher.

Those beginning years were not easy. My second husband was not very accepting. We had our differences. But I never stopped supporting my son.

Over the years my son made a name for himself by producing shows in West Hollywood. Of course I am always in the front row of his shows and these days he promotes up and coming artists at shows for Pride throughout the world. His clients are on Billboard and he is presently promoting a bisexual singer.

I go with him to the different clubs when he’s out networking. And he’ll introduce me to his friends. Almost every time I go with him I hear someone say, “I wish my mom would go out with me? I wish she would accept my friends. I wish she would accept me.” I tell them to never give up hope and share how I was once naive. I give them a lot of really great hugs, let them know I’m always available to talk and make sure they know how to reach me on messenger.

A couple of years ago my son was promoting a drag show at Bar 10 in Santa Monica and my husband said he wanted to attend. Of course, our mouths dropped wide open but we were happy for him to go and sit in the front row with me. At the end of the show my husband went to my son, gave him in a big hug and said how sorry he was that he had not been more open to him growing up. Lots of happy tears were shed that night and today we’re all a lot closer.

Not too long ago, my niece came out to my brother. When he told me about it, he said he saw how I was. The only advice I gave him was, “accept and love her, because they will be who they will be”

I’m really proud of my son and what he has accomplished.

We proudly march at Pride events together when we can.

I’m a personnel manager for Walmart and we often join other stores and march all together!

Years ago I wanted to make sure I taught my son not to see people for their race or color. I didn’t know that once day he would teach me to see people with love.

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Serendipitydodah for Moms is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com

Dear Messrs. Chasten and Pete Buttigieg

Tags

Buttigieg, Chasten Buttigieg, Equality, Justice, LGBT, LGBTQ, Mama Bears, Mayor Pete, Moms of LGBTQ Kids, Pete 2020, Pete Buttigieg

More than 1,600 moms of LGBTQ kids sign a letter to Chasten and Pete Buttigieg thanking them for showing up and speaking up for the inclusion and protection of LGBTQ people.

 

Dear Messrs. Chasten and Pete Buttigieg,

We belong to a large private Facebook group called Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears. The group was created for moms of LGBTQ kids who love and support their kids. We have more than 5,000 moms in the group and many of us are working to make the world a kinder, safer, more loving place for all LGBTQ people to live.

More than 1,600 of us are signing this letter because we wanted to say thank you for showing up and speaking up for LGBTQ equality and protection. Your commitment to work for the protection and inclusion of LGBTQ people gives us so much hope for our children’s future.

Many of us come from conservative Christian communities where we have been criticized, and sometimes shunned, for affirming and celebrating our LGBTQ children. We know there is often a price to pay when you show up and speak up on behalf of LGBTQ people, which is why we wanted to acknowledge you and express our gratitude.

We sincerely believe that showing up and speaking up is one of the bravest things anyone can do when it comes to fighting for justice. We believe people like you two serve as a catalyst when it comes to making the world a kinder, safer, more loving place for all LGBTQ people to live, and because of that we are forever grateful for both of you.

We believe that your willingness to wholeheartedly support LGBTQ people not only reflects the true spirit of America, but also demonstrates the idea that Paul put forth in Galatians 5:6 when he wrote “the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.”

We are forever hopeful that others will follow your just and compassionate example.

With sincere gratitude and respect,

Abby De Fiesta Cortez
Adele Berardi
Adrienne Haslam
Agnes McKay
Aimee French
Aimee Ventura
Alanna Ireland
Alecia Moss
Aletheia Wall Zambesi
Ali Munshi
Alisa Tomette
Alise D Chaffins
Alisha Dobson
Alison Defrese
Alison Maier
Alissa Butler
Alix Maiden-Baillie
Allena Brown
Allison Baswell
Allison Diaz
Allison Gonzalez
Allison Wilson
Allyson Marcelle
Alyssa Miller
Amanda Corry Thorderson
Amanda Curtis Dwyer
Amanda Dalton
Amanda Garcia
Amanda Gayle
Amanda Grace Blackmon
Amanda J Brewer
Amanda Miller
Amanda Mills
Amanda Sellers
Amanda Shingola Everly
Amanda Ukowich
Amber Guerrero
Amber Lewis Williams
Amber Pugh
Amber Stults
Amira Lindbloom
Amy Brooks
Amy D’Arpino
Amy Drahos
Amy Forbes
Amy Fugate
Amy Giesecke
Amy Goad
Amy Hansley Bennett
Amy Heebner Davis
Amy Kell
Amy L Parker Orwig
Amy Lowe
Amy Marshall Lambrecht
Amy McDonald
Amy Ridgely Allridge
Amy Rueter
Amy Staley
Amy Stubbs
Amy Wells
Anani Steadman
Andi Williams
Andrea Coffee Peacock
Andrea Dalhouse
Andrea Dixson-Finkboner
Andrea Kulp
Andrea Larson Schultz
Angel Barber
Angela Bengston
Angela Garrison
Angela H. Coble
Angela H. O’Brien
Angela Harrison Darland
Angelique Chelton
Angie Birkes
Angie Fanning
Angie Hawkins Hetisimer
Angie Laws
Angie Leavitt
Angie Shreve
Angie Silver
Angie Stratz Ashmore
Anita Breuer Peters
Anita Jewell Carter Cockrum
Anittra Kilgore
Ann D. Alvarez
Ann Haman
Ann McGee Green
Ann Phillips Smith
Ann Zweckbronner
Anna Parks
Anne Campolieti Anderson
Anne Hill Trask
Anne Packard
Anne Rolfert
Anne Spurgeon
Annette Bowman
Annie Shelton
AnnMarie Augugliaro Gilbert
Antoinette Sanchez
April Miller
April Silbermann
April Victorine
Ardith Young
Arlene Schulz
Ashley Doss
Ashley Leonard
Ashley Phiri
Ashlie Burnette Webb
Athena Sims
Autumn Jibben
Autumn Kinsman
Barb Cressy
Barb Duder
Barb Gallett
Barbara Cafarelli
Barbara Winkler
Beau Simcoe
Becki McDermott
Becky Abbott Kelley
Becky Cantrall
Becky Henry
Becky Horness
Becky Koman
Becky Krauklis Rominger
Becky Norum Warner
Becky Richardson
Beki Walkup
Belinda Adkins
Belinda King
Bella Squicciarini Kaplan
Benita Ramsey
Benjamina Balmer
Beth Barndt Ruthenburg
Beth Barnes
Beth Breems
Beth Campbell
Beth Highton Carter
Beth Karolewski
Beth Loring
Beth McGill-Rizer
Beth Richardson
Beth Sands
Beth Wiggins Baswell
Bethany Kirwen
Bethany Neitz
Bethany Wood
Betsy Bruce Henning
Betsy Gutridge
Betsy Sforza Gutridge
Bev Haydon
Beverly Siegmann
Beverly Wynne
Billie Jo Marrs
Blanca Benavidez
Bobbi-Jo Phoenix Turner
Bonnie Miranda
Bonnie Sacko
Brae Adams
Brandi Walker
Brandy Darr Doty
Brandy Wilson Smith
Brea Brown
Brenda Ahlemann
Brenda Bergeron
Brenda Diesslin
Brenda Fiet Walter
Brenda Floyd
Brenda Gallagher
Brenda Holloway Bratcher
Brenda King
Bridget Murphy
Brigitte Spence
Brita DeMars
Britiney Fife
Brittney Jo
Bryna Dawn Carter
Callie Healey
Camille Wheeler
Cammeron Kaiser
Candace Kitchkeesick
Candace Winters Johnson
Candice Breedlove Cheney
Candice Staats Morales
Candy Cathey
Cany Barron
Cara Peachick
Cari Martinez
Carie Poynor Downes
Carla Hegeman Crim
Carla Iturregui Picasso-Brown
Carla Michaelsen
Carla Scruggs
Carla Short Spivey
Carlee Roche
Carmen Catterson
Carmen Johnson
Carol Ashbrook Bapty
Carol Caudill Thames
Carol Foster Lamar
Carol Lundemo
Carol Smith
Carol Tyler
Carol Vail
Carol Williams
Carole Bass
Carole Christian
Carole Glover Kuriatnikova
Carole Hiller
Carolyn Brice Briggs
Carolyn Cage Johnston
Carolyn Walker
Carrie Black
Carrie Colladay Stell
Carrie Fulton
Carrie Garske Shank
Carrie Henderson
Caryl A Williams
Caryle A Cox
Cassandra Graham
Cassy Taylor Campos
Catherine Dowdy
Catherine Marie Matesi
Cathleen Frantzen Schaber
Cathy Calamas
Cathy Ledbetter Lafever
Cathy Light Evans
Cathy Pattat
CeCe Ibson
Celia Hadden
Chasity Davis
Chelsa Nunn Morrison
Chelsea Mornings
Cheri Nill
Cheri Sun Magelky
Cherie Andres Draper
Cherie Stevens
Cherie Thomas
Cherie Walker
Cheryel Lemley McRoy
Cheryl B. Evans
Cheryl Bakkila-Perkins
Cheryl Couch-Thomas
Cheryl Wilson
Chris Behne
Chris Benson
Chris Clements
Chris Jackson
Chris López
Chris Pepple
Chris Walker
Chris Webster
Chrissy Mae Brooks
Christa Horita Kadach
Christie Hoos
Christie Kornmaier Wood
Christie Nader
Christie Weston Butterman
Christina Aponte
Christina Aronovici
Christina Johnson
Christina Lehmann Bergevin
Christina Pierce
Christina Rosbury
Christine Anthony
Christine Bullock
Christine Foster Shaw
Christine Gilmore
Christine Wilkinson
Christine Williams Walraven
Christy Emigh
Christy McJunkin
Christy Seps White
Cilla Thomas
Cindi Crump Rhoades
Cindy Brenner Sarquiz
Cindy Clayton
Cindy Depp-Hutchinson
Cindy Duncan
Cindy Helzer Baldwin
Cindy Homer
Cindy Jo Conner
Cindy Morgan
Cindy Naas Nathan
Cindy Pierce
Cindy Richard Broussard
Cindy Rodriguez Castro
Cindy Watson Bowen
Cindy Winsky Lear
Clare Slevin
Colette Park
Colette Stasiewich
Colleen Craig
Colleen Hepler Brassington
Colleen Jury
Colleen Kane
Connie Dupuis
Connie Girtman
Connie Lou
Corina Dulecki
Corinna Garcia
Cosette Johnson Blanchard
Cris Ann Tryniski
Crissy Flores
Crista Mason
Crystal Baker
Crystal Miller
Crystal Ryan
Crystal Squires
Crystal Wagner
Cyndi Harper
Cyndi Houts Spieker
Cyndi Silva Raugh
Cynthia Corsetti
Cynthia Gaye Rahm-Clark
Cynthia Makowski
Cynthia Vermillion
Dana Baker
Dana Blankenship
Dana Burgess
Dana Huntington-Smith
Dana Ramsey
Danette Mohring
Dani Martin
Danielle Castellini Giannascoli
Dannah Walter
Daphne Bookas Alvarado
Dara Dandrea-Giannotti
Daresha Kyi
Dawn Acero
Dawn Bennett
Dawn Carafeno
Dawn Ervin
Dawn Gray
Dawn Moore
Dawn Morgan
Dawn Pogalz
Dawn Roth
Dawn Varvil
Dawna Campise Raehpour
Dayneen Glastetter
Deann McDaniel
Deanna Jolly Frazee
Deanna Kasper
Deanne Knife
Deb Berghuis
Deb Busch
Deb Foreman Cyr
Deb Gallagher
Deb Vaughn
Deb Woodman
Debbie Billetter
Debbie Grider Perkins
Debbie Griewe
Debbie Jankowski
Debbie Kelly
Debbie King
Debbie Matsunaga Pettit
Debbie McQueen
Debbie Milteer
Debbie Nelson
Debbie Rogers Greenan
Debbie Shelden Ingram
Debbie Wasielewski Tavarez
Debbie Wilcock Kenworthy
Debbie Woods Coy
Debby Lloyd Boutwell
Debby McCrary
Debi Jackson
Debi Tucker Boland
Deborah Bettis
Deborah Carey Stanford
Deborah Carlyle Enman
Deborah Parrott
Debra Dickerson
Debra Hill
Debra Honeywell Myott
Debra Rene Skinner
Dee Dee
Dee Rankin
Dee Reed
Dee-Ann Bodenheimer-Enslin
Deeann Parker
Deena Corwin Pfahler
Deena Laurent Hernandez
Deirdre Grimm
Deleise Carper Brewer
Dena Heinen Edwards
Denise Ellis
Denise Lodge Everitt
Denise O’Dell Hutson
Denise Odorizzi
Denise Ramirez-Tatum
Denise Trainer Webb
Derry Gleason
Desiree Deaton
Desiree Duke
Detra Damskov
Di Petsche
Diana Boseman
Diana Dermit McCarthy
Diana Harris
Diana Walla
Diane Brady-Leighton
Diane Bruyn Van Kley
Diane Frueh
Diane Humphrey
Diane Simms
Diane Van Kley
Diane Wade
Dierdre Smith
Dina Palmisano Wolstromer
Dominique Pfeiffer
Donna C Smith
Donna Campbell Thornbury
Donna Davis Poock
Donna Haberland
Donna Holmes
Donna McAtee Edwards
Donna Sartain
Donna Thompson Spencer
Donna Turner Hudson
Donna Twich
Donna Twichell
Dorene Rose
Dori Duff
Dori Spaulding MacFarlane
Doris Gaither
Doris Gaither
Doris Wright
Dorothy Banzon
Dyana Paredes
Dyanne Khalaf
Edith A Love
Eiriol Lane
Elaine Falk Parker
Elaine Quigley
Elayna Szkrybalo
Eleanor Dennison
Elisa Stoneman
Elise Gerard
Elizabeth Aldridge
Elizabeth Estep Woodmansee
Elizabeth Frauenknecht
Elizabeth McConnel Sutton
Elizabeth Medlin
Elizabeth Pierce
Ellen McCrory
Ellen McCroskey
Ellen Passwater
Ellen Pridmore Green
Ember Mandell
Emily Aceituno
Emily Farley
Emily Richards Rivera
Emily Wilson
Erica H
Erika DahlePetras
Erika Fuchs Kuhlman
Erin Belinger Goossen
Erin Chormanski
Erin Elwell
Erin Green Kelley
Erin Mynes
Erin O’Brien
Esa Ann
Etta Menlo
Eva Sullivan-Knoff
Faith Cuminato
Faith Moeller
Felicia Dodd
Fran Hill
Fran Shirer
Frances Lavender
Frances O’Flaherty
Francine Rowland Woodcock
Franny Buell
Gabrielle Coffman
Gayla Hicks May
Gena Rogers
Gena Sanders Davis
Genell Brown
Geneviève Trotter
Georgi Persons
Geraldine Gray Kiser
Gerry Phifer
Gina Drew Butcher
Gina Williamson
Giny Bailey
Gladys Rodriguez
Glenda Collins
Glenda Crump
Glenda Moore
Glenda Purkis Boulton
Glenys Mee
Gloria Melton
Grace Hudson
Greta Medrano
Gretchen Doornek Mueller
Gretchen Porton
Gretchen Veling
Gwen Harker Poole
Gwen Kuhns
Harriet Sutton
Heather Blazek
Heather Clevenger
Heather Cooper
Heather Diaz
Heather Dorf Rawlings
Heather Frost Holtslander
Heather Gage-Foley
Heather Gee-Thomas
Heather Hyde
Heather McCracken Bottoms
Heather Oberhaus
Heather Rae Turner
Heather Riley
Heather Shamp Mitchell
Heather Taylor
Heather Tescher Brazelton
Heather Winters
Heidi Bell
Heidi Davis
Helene Driessens
Holly Cummings
Holly Daniel Ransom
Holly Lumpkins
Hope Lane Addis
Ida Federico Hammer
Ilene Pedersen
Ineka Estabrook
Irene Gilliland
J. Regina Blackwell
Jackie Berens-Andrew
Jackie Britt Mulholland
Jackie Copeland
Jackie McQueen
Jackie Reese
Jacque Wright
Jacqueline Rutledge
Jacqueline Steverson Brown
Jacqui Hawkins
Jade Cutter
Jaime Russ
Jaime Windham
Jamie Bright
Jamie Harris Parnell
Jamie Heston
Jamie Hovland
Jamie McAfee
Jamie Tessing Bruesehoff
Jammie Risley Hahn
Jan Pezant
Jan Roberts
Jan Simmons Johnson
Jan Wightman
Jane Clementi
Jane E Lages
Jane Harlan
Jane Moody
Jane Quintanar
Jane Waters
Janelle Hall
Janet Bossemeyer-Mazerolle
Janet Brandes Ambrosio
Janet Daw
Janet Lee Anjain
Janet Phillips
Janet Souza
Janette Leverenz
Janice Dunn White
Janice Hoffman Woodruff
Janice Norton Ritter
Janice Taylor
Janie Romine
Janie Veal
Janine Rauscher
Janine Sarah Moore
Jann Haskins Gillingham
Janna Barkin
Jaron Terry
Jay Nevitt Geiger
Jayne L Becker
Jayne Spear
Jayne Tucker
Jean Abbott Herrick
Jean Rose
Jean Youmans-Stanton
Jeana Owens
Jeannette Cona-Larock
Jeannie Babb
Jeannine Rotella
Jen Cheski
Jen Corke-Kafer
Jen Irvine
Jen K D-Lewis
Jen Stearns
Jen Tengs-Howard
Jen Thomas
Jen Wood
Jeney Anderson
Jenn Riedy
Jenna Robertson
Jennie Young-Walczyk
Jennifer Adams
Jennifer Allen Baker
Jennifer Angulo
Jennifer Babb
Jennifer Bryant
Jennifer Buol
Jennifer Davis Smith
Jennifer Demi Raehl
Jennifer Dempsey
Jennifer Donovan Jasgur
Jennifer Dunnam Stringfellow
Jennifer Elizabeth
Jennifer Fecio McDougall
Jennifer Gill
Jennifer H. Fuller
Jennifer Hancock
Jennifer Jasgur
Jennifer Kauppi
Jennifer Kosek
Jennifer Lindsey
Jennifer McClelland Meyer
Jennifer McDonald
Jennifer Miller
Jennifer Mize
Jennifer Molloy
Jennifer Nerad
Jennifer O’Rourke
Jennifer Page
Jennifer Palmer
Jennifer Reall
Jennifer Robinson
Jennifer Schaffner Burkhardt
Jennifer Seeger
Jennifer Shye
Jennifer Sollazzo Smyke
Jennifer Stake White
Jennifer Sumner
Jennifer Szabo
Jennifer Tatum Downs
Jennifer Teeter
Jennifer Thompson
Jennifer Wesline
Jenny Barton
Jenny Bishop Morgan
Jenny Lewis
Jenny Manasco
Jenny Richards
Jenny Williams Hines
Jerri Surles Collins
Jessica Banks
Jessica Capretta
Jessica Cole
Jessica Fahlgren
Jessica Johnson
Jessica Markwood Weiss
Jessica Martin-Weber
Jessica Mélançon
Jessica Naccarati
Jessica Prins
Jessica Rae Baughman
Jessie Swinford Shirrell
Jill Arrowood
Jill Blythe
Jill Huzzard Tatter
Jill Johnstone
Jill L’Heureux
Jill Lugar
Jill Yarbrough
Jillian Jones
Jo Ivester
Joan Schepperly
Joani Lea Jack
JoAnn Forsberg
Joann Thompson
JoAnn Tyndall Larsen
Joanne Lee
Jody Miller Vanderzell
Jody Sparks Mugele
Johnette Wallace
Jolene Weaver
Joni Isichotho
Joy Denton
Joy Millikan
Joy Swenson
Joyce De Jager
Joyce Flesher
Judie Brown Gordon
Judith Cobb
Judith Davis
Judith K Volkar
Judy Duff
Judy Fehlhaber
Judy Limpus-Heath
Judy Pettit Ronshausen
Judy Witzel Harper
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Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The group was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 5,000 members. Each day moms of LGBTQ kids gather virtually to share a journey that is unique and sometimes difficult. The group is a place where they share a lot of information, ask questions, support one another, learn a lot. brag on their kids, encourage and inspire one another. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears” The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted there.  There are five subgroups, several special projects and more than 50 regional groups available to the members of the private Facebook group. Go HERE for more info.

Mama Bear Story Project #42 – Felicia Dodd

Tags

Christian, Equality, LGBT, LGBTQ, Mama Bear Story Project, Mama Bears

The Mama Bear Story Project is a collection of portraits and autobiographical essays from members of Serendipitydodah for Moms – Home of the Mama Bears

 

 

Texas Conservatives are saying those in favor of LGBTQ Equality want to “ban the Bible” in the state of Texas. Mama Bear Felicia Dodd is a member of Serendipitydodah for Moms who lives in Texas. Felicia is speaking up and and making it clear that LGBTQ advocates aren’t asking anyone to ban the Bible, instead, we are asking Christians to go “back to the Bible” and take a closer look at what the Bible actually says …

BACK TO THE BIBLE by Felicia Dodd

My name is Felicia Dodd, and I am the mother of 4 children. I have a son and daughter, as well as twin sons, one of which is gay. A little information about me and my story is that I am a Christian, I believe in the inspiration of the Bible, and I try my best to follow Jesus.

A few days ago I told my oldest son that I was going to be speaking today and was trying to write out a draft of what I would say. At dinner that night he shared with his wife that I was trying to write this speech, and his 7 year old daughter, my granddaughter Gabrielle, overheard the conversation and asked what the speech was about. He told her it was about making sure people are treated the same. She looked at him and said, “I thought Martin Luther King Jr already took care of that!” Oh how I wish that were true.

My story is that when I realized my son might be gay, I began to pray nightly, begging God to please not let my child be gay. I did this not because I didn’t think I could love him if he was gay. You see, I had a gay brother whom I loved deeply. The fact that my brother was gay made no difference to me whatsoever, because I knew his heart and knew what a beautiful loving person he was. Unfortunately he lived a closeted life, because he lived in a time when gay people were harassed, oppressed, and, like what is still happening today in some churches, he heard the message that he was an abomination and was separated from God. Consequently he committed suicide when he was 35 years old. This was a senseless waste of a precious life and it was a huge loss to me, my family and the world, of a gifted and precious human being. I prayed that my son would not be gay because I did not want him to suffer the discrimination and heartbreak my brother suffered. As time went by and those prayers were not answered, I began to immerse myself in the Bible and in research of the Biblical verses that are used to condemn LGBTQ people. I bought and read dozens of books on this subject written by learned Biblical scholars. I soon realized that the traditional interpretation of these verses which had been handed down to me, by the church I was raised in, were actually not all there was to the story. I realized we all need to look closely and more accurately at the Hebrew and Greek words and their translations, and we need to look at the context and intent of the text. My research made me comfortable and at peace with what I had always truly deep down believed which is that we are all God’s children and that we are all made in God’s image. Because I knew my son well, I knew he did not choose to be gay, and I came to know with all my heart that he was perfect just as God made him.

I don’t claim to know all the truth God is revealing to us, but I know he has opened my mind and heart in ways I could have never imagined. For years I had been reading the Bible, going to church regularly, and attending a weekly Bible Study, seeking to learn how to live a Christ like life. But even though I had been seeking God, and even though I once had a gay brother, it was through God’s gift of a gay child that I have been able to truly hear what God is saying to me. I no longer pray that God makes my son straight, like I had been doing when I was trying to reconcile same sex relationships with what is written in the Bible. God is revealing to me that He made my son and loves him just the way he is. God has shown me that my son doesn’t need to change anything about himself. I was the one who needed to change. It has been an amazing and emotional journey. I pray God helps me to always be humble, to seek the truth, and to have understanding and mercy for others who don’t hear what I hear the Bible saying.

And it is in that spirit that I seek a more just world for my gay son. He was raised just the same as his twin brother and his other siblings. He went to Sunday School and sang Jesus Loves Me and believed it just as his siblings did. He memorized and believed John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Unfortunately, my son, like so many LGBTQ Christians, started getting the message that this world that God loves does not include them.

There has been great harm done to the LGBTQ community in the name of God, in the name of one’s religion, in the name of ones deeply held religious beliefs. That harm is in the form of family rejection, self rejection, church rejection, and all manor of social, psychological and spiritual harm, sometimes self harm and even suicide. That harm is well documented.

It might come as a shock to Dan Patrick and anyone who would support SB 444 and SB 85 to know that there really are a lot of LGBTQ Christians. My son, as well as other LGBTQ individuals, and several same sex couples who are my friends regularly attend this beautiful First United Methodist Church which sits right next to our Capitol. The fact that I know so many Christian LGBTQ individuals leaves me bewildered when I try to understand how anyone would use “their deeply held religious beliefs” as the basis to discriminate. LGBTQ Christians do exist and they have deeply held religious beliefs too.

And none of the LGBTQ people I know want to ban or throw out the Bible. They and their allies just want people to go back to the Bible – to dig deeper and understand the culture and context of difficult scriptures and to never lose sight of the overall message of the Bible, to love your neighbor as yourself.

I was blessed to attend the Gay Christian Network Conference in Houston a couple of years ago. I witnessed hundreds of young people who came not just from all over the United States, but from all over the world. They had been raised in the church but a good many of them had been wounded and kicked out, by either their parents, their youth minister, or their pastor. Yet they came, wanting community, wanting to hear the word of God and wanting to know that they were loved by God. They desperately wanted to believe that when they too, as children, sang Jesus Loves Me, it was still true today. I saw many weeping when they did hear these words of affirmation. I was deeply moved and forever changed by these individuals who were desperately seeking God’s love. And I say the following with great conviction: I have never experienced the close presence of God like I did at that Gay Christian conference. It was definitely a thin place where the essence of God’s presence was almost tangible. My daughter who is straight, and is very affirming of her gay brother, accompanied me at this conference. We both wore Free Mom Hugs buttons. Through tears we gave lots of hugs to lots of young people who hadn’t been hugged by a mom or a sister in a long time. Because they had been rejected in the name of God.

I am proud of the young man my gay son, Connor, has grown to be. I am happy he was able to get married and to adopt a child while living in the state of New York. He is an amazing father. This might not have happened in Texas now that we have laws that discriminate against LGBTQ adopting or being foster parents. Texans should expect better.

When Connor, heard about these recent bills that are being proposed, he said, “So many people, LGBTQ, racial minorities, as well as people with physical and mental disabilities have so many extra hardships to overcome and it is so backwards that we have people in power, that our kids should be able to look up to, but instead they use their power to look down on those people and tell them they are less than.”  And I couldn’t agree more.

Like most oppressed populations, access to mental health care is crucial in regard to suicide, addiction and overall well being. They need health care and equal treatment like everyone else. This is fundamentally about HUMAN DIGNITY.  John in his Epistles, said How do you say you LOVE GOD whom you HAVE NOT SEEN, when you DON’T love THOSE WHOM you DO SEE?  You know, one day we will all stand before God, and Jesus will remind us that the ultimate sacrament of God is the HUMAN BEING that we live beside on a daily basis. You could say, it is the frightened13 year old who comes into the office of a Professional Licensed Counselor and wants help understanding his same-sex attractions. It is the same-sex couple that wants a sonogram or a wedding cake. And Jesus will say, as much as you’ve done to the least of these, you’ve DONE UNTO ME.

So what I ask of Lt. Governor Dan Patrick, Senator Perry, Senator Hall, and any legislator who might be thinking of supporting SB 444 and SB 85, is to please stop and listen and find out about the plight of these wounded, dignified, exiled, diverse, oppressed, wonderful people who love Jesus despite some proclaimed Christians with deeply held religious beliefs, and despite a church, that has not always loved them.

 

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Serendipitydodah for Moms is a private Facebook group for moms of LGBTQ kids. The official motto is “Better Together” and the members call themselves “Mama Bears”

The group is private so only members can see who is in the group and what is posted in the group. It was started in June 2014 and presently has more than 4,400 members. For more info about the private Facebook group email lizdyer55@gmail.com